At Least it is Higher Than a Sharp Stick within the Eye

Our three 12 months previous was complaining that one thing hadn’t gone precisely as she’d hoped. In some unspecified time in the future I mentioned, “No less than it is higher than a pointy stick within the eye.”

She paused in thought for a second, then replied, “All the pieces is healthier than a pointy stick within the eye!”

My spouse and I, over our many years collectively, have developed a set of “jokes” that will not precisely make us guffaw any longer, however that we nonetheless return to time and again as a result of, properly, they permit us to really feel extra in management. That is “sharp stick” joke is a type of. I suppose it is kind of our model of the recommendation to “look on the intense aspect.”

One other of our jokes, the one I usually name the very best joke ever informed, is one evoked every time the stress is on. All it takes is for one in every of us to say, “That is the vital part.” We have been telling this joke for some 40 years and it by no means will get previous. We giggle as a result of it reminds us that life is a unending collection of vital phases, every looming massive when decision is sooner or later, however showing as no huge deal in hindsight.

I can not inform you what number of instances a marital spat has been nipped within the bud by one in every of us having the comedic chops to say, “I am certain you are proper.” Attempt it someday.

The flexibility to make mild of a foul scenario, even cynically or sarcastically or satirically, stands as an unappreciated, however very important social-emotional ability. Clearly, there are sometimes instances when a joke is unwelcome or an try to deflect the reality, however laughter (or a minimum of a realizing smirk) is commonly the one factor that stops us from crying all day. It is, in a approach, an extension or corallary to the recommendation to “decide your battles.” 

When a toddler responds to, say, spilled water with “Oh brother, not once more!” or “I did that on function,” I determine it as this sort of coping system, one I do know they’ve discovered from me as a result of these are among the many “jokes” I deliberately function mannequin by telling them on myself once I publicly fail or flub. I as soon as pinched my fingertip in a door hinge. When a child requested me if it damage, I replied, by means of the ache, “It is solely a flesh wound.” Moments later, she repeated the road after a fall on the pavement: “It is solely a flesh wound.” It did not change the truth that she wanted some first support, however it did rework the instant story, in a flash, from tragedy to comedy, as a result of the one actual distinction between the 2 is the ending.

I replied our daughter’s epiphany about our household joke by saying, “Precisely!” She then proceeded to set her grievance apart for the second as she joyfully listed all of the unhealthy issues in life that we’re, nonetheless, nonetheless higher than a pointy stick within the eye: lima beans, spiders, Cruella . . .

Humor in charged moments may be difficult in that it is usually perceived as insensitive or dismissive, and it definitely may be, however it additionally has the ability to diffuse, divert, and snap issues into perspective in a approach that furrowed brows and earnest phrases usually can not. Once we function mannequin humorful responses to our personal flaws and flubs, we permit youngsters to see that there are occasions when it may be an empowering option to giggle by means of our tears. Once we reply to our personal minor set-backs with humor we present youngsters that we are able to, even in instances of problem, stay the masters of our personal destiny, and that with a couple of phrases, we are able to rework ourselves and the second.

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