IELTS essay Band 8 Matter: Some imagine that schooling is a greater resolution to crime than jail (agree/disagree)

Most nations are sending criminals to jail. Some folks imagine that schooling can be a greater resolution to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most elements of the world, jail is the principle device used to punish criminals. Nevertheless, some imagine that schooling is a greater technique to forestall crime. I absolutely agree with this view, as I imagine schooling targets the foundation causes of prison behaviour extra successfully than punishment does.

Sending folks to jail could defend society within the quick time period, nevertheless it usually fails to stop reoffending. Many prisoners go away jail with no higher abilities, information, or assist than after they entered. In actual fact, prisons can expose inmates to additional violence, psychological well being issues, and prison networks. With out entry to schooling or job coaching, ex-offenders could wrestle to seek out work and return to crime merely to outlive. On this sense, jail turns into a revolving door, quite than an answer.

In distinction, schooling offers folks an opportunity to alter their path. For these vulnerable to committing crime, particularly younger folks from deprived backgrounds, entry to high quality schooling can present hope, objective, and alternative. Even inside the jail system, instructional applications have been proven to decrease reoffending charges. Individuals who research whereas incarcerated usually develop new abilities and achieve confidence, which helps them reintegrate into society. That is significantly evident in nations like Norway, which focus extra on rehabilitation and schooling than punishment, as they constantly have low crime and reoffending charges.

In conclusion, whereas imprisonment could also be obligatory for harmful offenders, schooling is a much more efficient long-term resolution to crime. It not solely prevents folks from committing crimes within the first place, but additionally helps them rebuild their lives after conviction. Due to this fact, I strongly imagine that governments ought to make investments extra in schooling as a key a part of their crime prevention methods.

Instructor’s suggestions:

This can be a clear, well-developed essay that may doubtless obtain a Band 8 or larger.

Process Response: Band 8
You’ve answered the query immediately and maintained a constant place all through — that schooling is a greater long-term resolution to crime. Your concepts are related and well-supported, particularly the comparability between jail methods and academic outcomes. To strengthen your response much more, you would possibly briefly acknowledge when imprisonment is important (as you do), then discover that time just a bit extra for steadiness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is logically organised with clear paragraphing. Your concepts progress easily from one to the following, and also you’ve used cohesive gadgets naturally, with out overdoing them. One small enchancment may very well be a barely stronger opening sentence in Physique Paragraph 1 to raised introduce the thought of jail’s limitations – right here is an instance: “Whereas imprisonment is a extensively used methodology of punishment, it has vital limitations in decreasing long-term prison behaviour.”

Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
Your phrase alternative is exact and applicable for an educational activity. Phrases like “revolving door,” “social marginalisation,” and “crime prevention methods” present a large vocabulary. To succeed in Band 9, attempt incorporating a couple of extra unusual or idiomatic expressions to additional show lexical sophistication.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 9
You’ve proven glorious management of grammar, with a spread of sentence varieties and correct complicated buildings. There are not any noticeable errors, and your grammar helps clear, fluent communication all through.

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