IELTS essay Band 8 Subject: All forms of promoting needs to be banned as a result of they’re damaging to society (agree/disagree)
All forms of promoting needs to be banned as a result of they’re damaging to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Promoting has change into an inseparable a part of fashionable life, showing in nearly each type of media. Some individuals argue that every one promoting needs to be prohibited due to its dangerous affect on society. Whereas there are legitimate issues in regards to the destructive affect of sure commercials, I consider {that a} whole ban could be impractical and even detrimental.
On the one hand, critics of promoting level to a number of methods during which it may be damaging. Firstly, promoting usually promotes unrealistic requirements of magnificence and success, which might result in low shallowness, particularly amongst younger individuals. For instance, beauty firms incessantly function closely edited photographs, creating unattainable beliefs. Promoting additionally encourages overconsumption and materialism by continuously pushing individuals to purchase issues they might not want. This not solely fuels private debt but in addition contributes to environmental degradation via elevated waste and useful resource exploitation. Equally regarding is the truth that some commercials goal weak teams, akin to kids, with unhealthy meals or deceptive claims.
Banning all forms of promoting, nevertheless, would have important drawbacks. For one, promoting is an important income for media shops, permitting them to supply free content material to the general public. With out it, newspapers, tv, and on-line platforms may battle to outlive, limiting entry to data and leisure. Moreover, accountable promoting helps customers make knowledgeable decisions by bringing new services and products to their consideration. For instance, commercials for brand spanking new applied sciences or healthcare merchandise can educate the general public about these helpful improvements.
In conclusion, though promoting can have undesirable results, particularly when it promotes dangerous stereotypes or extreme consumerism, an entire ban could be counter-productive. As a substitute, I consider governments ought to regulate promoting extra strictly to minimise its destructive affect whereas preserving its advantages.
Trainer’s suggestions:
This can be a sturdy and well-balanced essay that might comfortably sit at Band 8.
Process Response: Band 8
You’ve finished an excellent job answering the query and displaying either side of the argument. Your place is evident all through – that banning all adverts isn’t sensible, however higher guidelines are wanted – and also you’ve supported it with good examples. When you needed to go a step additional, you can briefly point out some forms of promoting which are clearly useful, like well being campaigns, to point out a bit extra steadiness.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The construction of your essay works nicely. Every paragraph has a transparent focus, and your concepts move logically from one to the following. You’ve used linking phrases successfully, like “on the one hand” and “for instance.” To make it even higher, you can strive including a barely smoother transition into the conclusion to tie all the things collectively extra naturally.
Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is powerful and assorted, and also you’ve chosen your phrases fastidiously. Phrases like “overconsumption and materialism” and “unrealistic requirements of magnificence” present a superb stage of management. To push your rating increased, strive utilizing some much less widespread expressions or extra superior phrases at times – simply to point out off your full vary.
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 8
You’re utilizing a superb mixture of sentence sorts and extra advanced buildings confidently. Every little thing reads clearly and precisely, which helps your concepts come throughout easily.
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